Moving Beyond Lip Service to Belonging, Difference, and True Inclusion
Inclusion is one of those words that gets thrown around a lot in organisations, coaching, and leadership spaces. We plaster it on posters, add it to our values statements, and talk about it in meetings. True inclusion isn't just about inviting people in—it's about action, ensuring individuals feel that they belong, even (and especially) when they're different.
Difference can be uncomfortable. Whether it's background, perspective, or working style, it's easier to gravitate towards people who feel familiar. Yet genuine inclusion isn't about smoothing out edges or expecting everyone to fit a mould. It's about creating a space where difference is not just tolerated, it’s welcomed—and where people don't have to leave parts of themselves at the door.
The psychology of belonging
From a psychological perspective, belonging is a fundamental human need—up there with food and shelter (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). When people feel excluded or pressured to "fit in", it triggers a threat response in the brain, leading to heightened stress and reduced engagement. Conversely, when individuals experience genuine inclusion, they're more likely to contribute, collaborate, and bring their whole selves to work. This isn't a feel-good sentiment; it's supported by extensive research on psychological safety and group dynamics (Edmondson, 1999).
When we belong, we thrive. When we feel excluded, we merely survive—and often sadly not even that.
So, how do we create this as leaders, coaches, or facilitators?
Practical steps towards real inclusion:
Get specific about belonging. Don't assume everyone feels included just because they're present. Ask: "What does belonging look like for you?" Listen to the answers and be ready to adapt. What makes one person feel included might be completely different for another.
Model curiosity over comfort. When someone brings a different view or way of working, lean in. Ask questions. Show that you value their perspective, even if it challenges your own. I've noticed in my own practice how easy it is to default to familiar frameworks. Yet the richest insights often come from the perspectives that initially feel most unfamiliar.
Contract for inclusion. At the start of a session or project, co-create agreements about how you'll work together. Explicitly discuss how to handle uncomfortable conversations or disagreements. Make inclusion a shared responsibility rather than something the leader alone must carry.
Notice who's not speaking. Pay attention to who's quiet or on the margins. Invite their input without putting them on the spot. Sometimes, inclusion is about making space for voices that aren't always heard. In group sessions, I've found that checking in with quieter members during breaks can reveal valuable insights that might otherwise remain unshared.
Challenge "fitting in" culture. Be aware of the subtle pressure for people to conform. Celebrate what's unique about each person. Make it clear that difference is an asset, rather than a problem to solve. When we create environments where authenticity is valued, we unlock potential that conformity keeps hidden.
The ongoing work of inclusion. True inclusion takes effort and humility. It's not just about opening the door, it’s about what happens after someone walks in. It requires us to constantly examine our own biases, question our assumptions, and remain open to being challenged.
In my work with teams and individuals, I know how transformational it can be when people feel genuinely seen and valued for who they are. The energy shifts. The engagement deepens. The quality of thinking improves.
When difference is truly welcomed, belonging becomes possible and that's when the real growth happens.
Inclusion isn't a destination we reach; it's an ongoing practice to commit to. Rather than having it perfect, it is about showing up consistently and being willing to learn from our missteps – over and over again.
If you would like to reflect, here are some questions:
How might you be unintentionally creating pressure for conformity in your team or organisation?
What would it take for you to truly welcome perspectives that challenge your own?
Who in your sphere might be feeling on the margins, and what small step could you take to extend genuine belonging?
Perhaps the question isn't "How can we be more inclusive?" but rather "How can we create the conditions where everyone belongs?"
About Amanda
Amanda Livermore is the founder of LORE Consultancy Ltd and a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) with the International Coaching Federation (ICF). With over 20 years of experience in coaching, training design and facilitation, Amanda specialises in helping individuals and teams develop the skills to work more effectively together. As both a trained mentor coach and coach supervisor, she supports coaches in their own professional development whilst helping organisations create more inclusive, psychologically safe environments where different perspectives are valued and heard.
References
Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529.
Edmondson, A.C. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350-383.