Emergence – The Subtle Art of Letting Go in Coaching and Leadership
This is the first of a two-part series exploring emergence in coaching and leadership. In this first article, we'll examine what emergence means, why our attachment to control can limit us, and how presence and curiosity create the conditions for something new to arise. In the second part, we'll explore collective intelligence, share real stories from our work, and offer practical approaches you can apply immediately.
If you spend any time with experienced coaches or attentive leaders, you'll notice a distinctive quality in how they 'show up'. There's a patience, an openness, a willingness to step back and let something new arise.
In our work, whether we're supporting individuals, teams, or entire organisations, we find that the most significant moments don't happen because we've planned every detail in advance. They come when we allow space for emergence.
Emergence isn't a term you hear much outside of systems thinking or complexity science, but its relevance to our daily work is huge. In essence, emergence describes those moments where something new and meaningful arises from the interplay of people, ideas, and conditions. Something that couldn't have been predicted or created by simply following a process. For coaches and organisational leaders alike, this is both a challenge and an invitation: to notice, to trust, and to work with what is trying to come through, rather than forcing a pre-planned outcome.
The myth of control
So much of our professional culture rewards control. We celebrate decisive leaders, clever strategies, and robust plans. We're taught to set goals, measure progress, and deliver results. There's nothing wrong with structure. Indeed, it's often necessary. But when we get too attached to control, we risk shutting down the very conditions that make deep learning and real change possible.
As coaches, we see this all the time. A ‘thinker’ arrives with a tightly defined objective. They want a solution, a roadmap, a guarantee. It's tempting to provide one; after all, that's what many expect from a perceived "expert." And sustainable change doesn't work that way. Growth tends to be messy, iterative, and full of surprises. The same is true for teams and organisations. The best breakthroughs rarely come from sticking rigidly to a plan. Instead, they emerge when we create space for dialogue, reflection, and creative tension.
Emergence in practice: what does it look like?
So, what does it mean to work with emergence? It starts with presence. Whether we're coaching an individual or facilitating a meeting, our first responsibility is to be fully present. This means setting aside our own agendas, suspending judgment, and listening. Not only to words, but to what's beneath them. It means noticing not only what's said, but also what's unsaid. When we do this, we create a kind of space or environment, a 'container' where something new can take shape.
In practical terms, this might look like:
Pausing before jumping in with advice or a clever question.
Inviting silence, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Noticing shifts in tone, energy, or body language.
Being willing to change direction if something important starts to surface.
Trusting that the client or team has wisdom that's not immediately visible.
In our experience, these moments are often where the magic happens. An executive who's been stuck on a decision suddenly has an 'aha' moment. Not because we told them what to do, but because we made room for their own insight. A team that's been talking in circles finally breaks through to a shared understanding, simply because we resisted the urge to rush them towards consensus.
The role of wonder and curiosity
One of the most valuable tools we have, as coaches and leaders, is curiosity. Not the faux curiosity of a checklist, but genuine, open-hearted wonder. When we're inquisitive, we send a signal: "I don't have all the answers, and that's okay. I'm willing to be surprised." This stance is infectious. It invites others to drop their guard, to explore, and to experiment. It becomes invitational.
In organisational life, this can be radical. Leaders are often expected to be the people with answers. In my limited experience, the best leaders I know are those who model fascination and wonder. They ask questions like:
"What are we not seeing here?"
"If we weren't afraid of failing, what might we try?"
"What's the real challenge beneath the surface?"
"Who else needs to be in this conversation?"
These questions don't just spark new ideas; they promote a culture where emergence is possible. People feel safer to speak up, share half-formed thoughts, and admit uncertainty. Over time, this builds trust. And with trust comes the willingness to take risks and accept new possibilities.
Trusting the process (even when it's uncomfortable)
Speaking personally, emergence is not always comfortable. It can feel risky, especially in environments that value certainty and control. As coaches, we sometimes notice our own anxiety rise when a session seems to stall or go off script. Leaders, too, may feel pressure to steer things back to the agenda, to make sure outcomes are delivered "on time." Or that we are "accountable."
Here's the paradox: the more we try to control the process, the less likely we are to create meaningful change. Growth rarely follows a straight line. Insight often arrives in fits and starts, or in moments of chaos. Our job, then, is to trust the process. Even when it doesn't look like progress.
One of the most valuable things we can do is to normalise this for our thinkers, people and teams. We can say, honestly, "It's okay not to know. Sometimes, confusion is a sign that something new is coming." We can share stories of times when sitting with uncertainty led to a breakthrough. We can model patience and encourage others to do the same.
What's next
In the second part of this series, we'll explore how emergence works at a collective level, drawing on real stories from our coaching practice. We'll look at what happens when teams and leaders genuinely let go of control, and I'll share practical approaches you can use to nurture emergence in your own work. Whether you're a coach supporting individuals or a leader guiding teams, these insights can help you create the conditions where meaningful change becomes possible.
About Amanda
Amanda Livermore is the founder of LORE Consultancy Ltd and a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) with the International Coaching Federation (ICF). With over 20 years of experience in coaching, training design and facilitation, Amanda specialises in helping individuals and teams develop the skills to work even more effectively together. As both a trained mentor coach and coach supervisor, she supports coaches in their own professional development whilst helping organisations create more inclusive, psychologically safe environments where different perspectives are valued and heard.